The Big Green House

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

 

bad sex, media lies, and videotape

Let's get this out of the way up front, OK? All you rubes looking for the Paris Hilton video need to wake the fuck up. There is nothing even remotely sexual about that woman, let alone sexy. You are being duped by the media into thinking that she's some kind of desirable fuckbunny when in fact she is, more than likely, just like your sister's Barbie doll under those designer schmatas - smooth, hard plastic.

I'm glad to see so very many of you stopping by and all, but I'd prefer to be getting the hits from something I wrote rather than some misguided attempt at scoring voyeur porn. You do not want to see this thing. Believe me. It will depress the hell out of you - because when you eventually find it, after spending however much money it's going for these days, you're going to realize that you've wasted a huge amount of time (and judging from my site meter, an awful lot of you are also wasting your employer's time) and effort trying to find a heavily drugged debutante going through the motions in a pathetic imitation of human sexual intercourse.

Again, I don't have the tape, I don't know where you can get it, and frankly I'm a bit creeped out that so many of you seem to want to find it.

Also, your favorite band sucks.

bmarkey 12/03/2003 08:09:00 PM