The Big Green House

Sunday, November 16, 2003

 

Sunday morning, coming down

Hi. It�s a very wet and windy Sunday morning here at The Big Green House. Science Girl isn�t up yet, so I thought I�d take this opportunity to make up for not posting on Wednesday.

A neighbor down the block moved out this week. I can�t say that I knew her at all; I only ran into her a few times, usually at neighborhood garage sales. Invariably, she was loading her pickup truck with a bookshelf or an end table or� something large. Sometimes Lucy and I would see her on our walks. She�d be out in her front yard, selling off some of the things she�d collected or re-arranging the many pinwheels, garden gnomes, and patriotic signs scattered around the front of the house. She was always very friendly, saying hi and playing with Lucy for a bit.

Anyway, she sold the house, a nice, simple two-story affair, a couple of weeks ago. They�ve been moving things out over the past week. A lot of things. Apparently she�d been to more than a few garage sales, and didn't resell all of her haul.

It now appears that they�ve abandoned the project. There is an enormous pile of stuff � bookshelves, couches, chairs, unidentifiable pieces of what was probably furniture of some sort at one time, and box after box of who knows what � which covers the entire front yard, to a height of at least six feet. It�s been out there since Friday. I�d assumed that they were going to come for it yesterday; I certainly hoped so, anyway, since it�s been raining off and on since yesterday morning. It�s been coming down steadily since last night, soaking everything in the jumble to the point where if they don�t pick it up soon, it�s going to be beyond salvage. Lucy and I just came back from our morning walk, and apart from a few boxes that blew over in the windstorm last night, nothing seems to have moved since it was put out there. It�s a rather sad and forlorn sight.

Speaking of trashed cultural detritus that�s beyond salvage, I�ve had several hits overnight from a couple of poor dopes looking for the Paris Hilton video. Here�s the scoop, guys: I don�t have it, I don�t know where you can get it, and I�m somewhat baffled as to why anyone would want to see it. From what I hear, it ain�t worth the effort involved in tracking it down. But hell, I could have told you that without having seen frame one of the damn thing. I�d think that if you�re looking for pictures of people having sex you�d at least want them to look like people going at it, rather than some guy shtupping a coked-out whippet. Maybe that�s just me, though.

But maybe that�s not why you�re searching for this thing. Maybe it�s because you want to see someone �famous� humiliating herself in public. Well, OK. Not my idea of a good time, but whatever floats your boat, as we used to say. But can you tell me what it is she�s famous for? What has she accomplished or created? In short, what has she done? Aside from answering her cell phone while being poked, I mean. �Cause as near as I�ve been able to glean from the few news stories I�ve seen, she�s famous for being famous. Or famous for her genetic background. Famous, in fact, for merely being born. Well shit, boys, you and I have done that much. BFD, right?

What is the appeal here? I�m not losing any sleep over this, but I am genuinely curious.

bmarkey 11/16/2003 11:14:00 AM