The Big Green House

Thursday, October 02, 2003

 
WASHINGTON (AP) � During a seemingly routine press conference today, the White House press corps lost one of their own. Jeremy Spengler, a 26-year-old reporter for the Sacramento Press-Terrier on his first major assignment, was asking National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice a question regarding the continued absence of any evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq when Rice leapt a distance of some thirty feet from the podium to the back of the room where Spengler was standing, stuck her talons deep into Spengler�s chest, and ripped his heart from his body. Rice then devoured the still beating organ. White House aides hurriedly called an end to the conference.

As reporters were quickly led from the room, Rice was seen to hike her skirt up over her hips and grind her pelvic region into that of the still twitching corpse. Witnesses heard Rice scream �Make me feel good!�, as her eyes rolled back in her head and the dead man�s blood frothed on her lips.

A White House spokesman later denied any knowledge of the incident, claiming only that Rice had been �misquoted�.

bmarkey 10/02/2003 05:34:00 PM