The Big Green House

Friday, October 17, 2003

 

Near-death by chocolate

The last couple of days have truly been one of the weirdest, most stress-filled periods I can think of. (Well, on a personal level, anyway. I can think of other, more generally stressy times, but you probably read about that in the newspapers & stuff.) I�m not going to be able to tell the whole story right now, and I�m going to change a name here and there, for reasons which will become obvious in just a moment. But I�m not making any of this up.

Wednesday morning, Science Girl told me of a large crack in the basement of Science Manor which appeared to be larger than it was previously. Naturally, she was concerned about this, so she called a structural engineer to come out and have a look at it. He wouldn�t be able to make it out until Monday, but there didn�t seem to be any rush necessary. Still, she was a little on the nervous side, since it�s been raining quite a bit lately and Science Manor sits on a hillside. I did my best to reassure her that the house wasn�t going to go sliding into the neighbor�s. Not the best way to begin the day, but nothing unmanageable.

Things stayed calm until about 10:00 PM Wednesday, when I received a call at work from my friend, who, for the purposes of this post, I�m going to call Sarah. Without going into too much detail, Sarah was involved in a pretty scary domestic dispute with an ex-boyfriend (oh, we�ll call him Robespierre) and wasn�t sure what to do; she wanted me to come over to her place after work and check things out. I suggested that she might not want to stay at home, since the police had been involved and Robespierre might come back looking for trouble once he made bail. Instead, it seemed a better idea that she stay at The Big Green House, since he would surely be checking out her best friend�s place if he came looking for her. She agreed.

So it was that after work that night (11:30 PM), I found myself loading her suitcase and dogs (she has a couple) into her car, with one eye out for Robespierre the whole time. We arrived at TBGH without incident. Sarah and her dogs took the bedroom, and Lucy and I were on the couch. (Science Girl is over at Science Manor, remember? And before anybody freaks out, she was cool with the whole thing.) It�s a nice couch, great for reading or watching TV, but it�s a little short for sleeping on. My knees were cramping up all night. Plus, I was half expecting Robespierre to come busting in at any moment. Not a restful night; let�s put it that way.

I finally got to sleep around 3 or 4, I think. I can definitely tell you that I was awakened at 9 AM Thursday by a phone call from someone that knows better than to ring me before 10, at the very earliest. At that point, I began feeling the tension in earnest. I was just able to keep from biting the head off the early morning caller.

Sarah came out when she heard the phone ring. After a short discussion, I was finally able to convince her that getting a restraining order against Robespierre was her priority for the day. (I�d been telling her that for about a year, as had several of her other friends, as it turns out.) She agreed, provided I would go along and provide moral support. OK, fine.

Within five minutes of making that agreement, Science Girl called. She�d gone down into the basement that morning, and the crack appeared to have grown overnight. Consequently, she was very concerned about the house either collapsing or sliding down the hill. Could I come over and take a look at it? I explained the new situation, and we eventually decided that, once the paperwork on the restraining order had been completed, I would call over to Science Manor and, time permitting, zip over there before work.

In the meantime, Sarah had some errands that needed to be dealt with. While she was out, I walked all the various dogs. Do I have to tell you that one of them peed on one of SG rugs? �Cause he did. Ack! OK, I put the rug into washing machine, walked the other dogs, and threw together something for lunch. I could just choke it down, since by this time my guts were a-churn.

Sarah returned, had a little lunch herself, and then we headed downtown. We spent something like two hours filling out the required paperwork for the restraining order, only to find out that it would take another two hours to get it signed by the judge. Neither of us had that much time available, as we both had to get to work, so it was decided that Sarah would come back the next day (Friday, for those of you who�ve lost track by now).

A quick call to SG revealed that she was able to get a structural engineer out that afternoon, and that he didn�t think that collapse was imminent. Yay! Further study was a good idea, though, which was fine, since SG wanted to get a second opinion anyway. But at least she didn�t have to worry about the house falling in on her anytime soon.

So. Since it was swiftly approaching the time I needed to be at work, Sarah said that she would go back to The Big Green House, pick up one of her dogs who had a vet appointment, and go from there. Great. I headed off for work, feeling a sense of relief come over me: we�d all gotten through the day with no more catastrophes.

If this were a horror movie, we�d be at the point where everybody thinks the serial killer is dead, only to be surprised when he appears behind one of the lesser stars and sticks a knife through his/her head.

When I arrived at work, there was a message waiting for me. Apparently Sarah had left a chocolate bar on the kitchen table when we left for the courthouse. Lucy, being the little piglet that she is, got up on the table and ate the entire bar.

For those of you who aren�t that familiar with dogs, chocolate is deadly poison for them. Dark chocolate, being relatively undiluted, is especially bad. Lucy weighs about 11 pounds. She ate an entire 4 oz. bar of dark chocolate. You do the math.

Fortunately Sarah, as a dog owner herself, recognized immediately what had happened and what needed to be done. She called ahead to her vet, bundled both Lucy and her dog into her car, and raced off. The vet took Lucy right in, induced vomiting, and started IV fluids. She stabilized fairly quickly.

Of course none of that was in the message, just that Lucy had eaten a chocolate bar and that Sarah had taken her to the vet. I think it would be fair to say that I fucking well snapped when I got the news. I bummed a cigarette from a co-worker (I don�t smoke) & went outside to get some air. I was pretty useless until I spoke to the vet myself. He said that while she had ingested more than the toxic amount, he believed that they had gotten it out of her in time. He wanted to keep her on the IV overnight just in case, and of course I agreed.

To shorten an already-too-long story, I�ll just say that the rest of the night was an extravaganza of frazzlement and worry.

All�s well that ends well, though. Science Girl is relaxing herself by conducting online research into soil stability in the neighborhood. She�s Science Girl for a reason, you know. Sarah is out of The Big Green House; she�s staying in Seekrit Hiding Place #XJ-7, with a restraining order in her hand. Lucy is fine; she�s sleeping in the chair next to mine as I type this.

And me? I�m planning a nice, quiet weekend of soothing binge drinking.


bmarkey 10/17/2003 08:47:00 PM