The Big Green House

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

 

Book �em, Danno.

More hotness today: 93 degrees, again. It was so hot that I brought Lucy to work with me tonight so that she could take advantage of my employers� air conditioning. I�m grateful that, given my mechanical-goat-replaceability-quotient, they don�t mind her being here. It�s a win-win thing: people are always happy to see her here, and I don�t have to worry about coming home to a dog-shaped pile of ashes after work.

I also appreciate their allowing me to wear aloha shirts to work. OK, I know what you�re gonna say, and you can keep it to yourself. I happen to like aloha shirts � they�re fun, they�re cool (temperature-wise, anyway, although I would argue that they fit the bill sartorially, too), and given the state of menswear, it�s one of the few places I can add some color to my wardrobe. A lot of color. I would wear them every summer�s day, if I could.

The ironic thing is, I�m not a tropical person at all. I spent a couple of weeks on The Big Island in 1980, and I�m sorry to say that it�s just not the place for me. (Although it was an interesting setting in which to see Apocalypse Now.) The whole time I was there, I could not get the stench of rotting vegetation out of my nose. Snorkeling was fun, but other than that I really have no use for the beach. And I�ve already mentioned my aversion to heat and humidity. Give me the shirts and you can keep the islands.

The only real drawback to the aloha shirt is price. As a rule, they cost way too much, so I usually get mine on sale. The last couple of shirts I�ve picked up have been $10 wonders, but I think up to $40 is relatively reasonable. I ain�t gonna pay no $50-$250 for a rayon shirt that�s gonna wrinkle the first time I look at it wrong.

And then there�s the displeased-girlfriend thing. See, Science Girl puts up with them, but I know that she thinks they�re too loud. Usually I�ll go along with her on things of this nature, as she has impeccable taste � witness her fianc�e - but on this matter I put my foot down. Most of the time.

Addendum, 7/31/03: My good friend cowboy_sally says that this is a gender issue. Let me ask this question � is there another context in which I, as a straight male, could get away with wearing, say, a lavender shirt with hibiscus and plumeria on it and not attract scorn from the unenlightened and/or concern from loved ones and employers? (Actually, now that I think about it, just about every time my sexuality has been questioned by strangers, I�ve been wearing an aloha shirt. What�s up with that?)

Repent, you say? Never! If I have to choose between looking like a human peacock and being the boring drone in the white/off-white/daring French blue button-down shirt every day of my working life, you know I�m gonna be flyin� the rayon every chance I get. Is it wrong to want to inject a little color into the workplace? Is it wrong to step outside the dull male dress sense and have a little fun? I ask you, is it so wrong for me to want to be pretty?

*runs dramatically out of room*
*slams bathroom door and locks it*
*sobs uncontrollably into yellow shirt with volcanoes and dragons on it*


bmarkey 7/30/2003 10:17:00 PM