The Big Green House

Wednesday, April 16, 2003

 

New hope for the wretched

I�ve been feeling somewhat melancholy lately. There�s no specific reason for it (that I can see, anyway), just sort of a cumulative effect from about five years of working with people who are either very old, sick, actively dying, or a combination thereof. It catches up with me every now and again. That, and some other stuff (war, the apparent rightward list of our country, etc.). Nothing major, no reason to hide the sharp instruments from me, jes� dem ol� cozmic blues agin baby. It happens.

So, how to get over it? I mean, it�s all well and good to wallow in one�s darker moments, if one is so inclined, but I�ve got stuff to do. No time for mopery here, thank you very much. The dishes aren�t going to wash themselves, or they would have done so by now. (God knows they�ve had ample opportunity.)

Here is where my theater studies finally paid off: the ancient Greeks had, among other things, the concept of catharsis. (For those too lazy to click the link, �a : purification or purgation of the emotions � primarily through art; b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.� For all I know, the current Greeks have the same concept. We didn�t have to study them.) That�s JUST what I needed, so I made myself a cathartic mix tape.

It didn�t start out that way. I just started putting a mix tape together Monday morning, with no theme in mind. (Inspired by this well-thought-out post by eyeballkid. I broke a few rules, but then they�re not my rules to begin with.) I noticed the potential for an over-arching topic about two or three songs in and decided to wail with it. Now, usually that�s the kiss of death for one of my mixes. I�ve made some really interesting theme tapes, but it�s always been a subconscious process. As soon as I realize what�s going on, my brain clenches up and the whole thing goes straight into the crapper. Not this time.

What I came up with is a tape dealing with, in no particular order: faith; betrayal; the existence (or otherwise) of the divine; paranoia; rock & roll; drugs; the absurdity of life; selling out vs. buying in; friendship; death (natural and self-inflicted); aging; terrorism; doubt; self-loathing. Angst on parade, with a few glimmers of redemption and beauty here and there. Plus a few songs that I threw in because they fit sonically, although if you pressed me I could probably make an argument for their inclusion based solely on content. The title of the tape, How To Think About Weird Stuff, is actually the title of a book I saw in the display window of a used bookstore as I was on my way to work yesterday; sadly, I didn�t have time to take a look at the book itself.

It probably all sounds stupid and pretentious, and it may even be so. It also rocks like a motherfucker. All-out nasty ugliness and pure transcendent beauty, all on one 110-minute tape. And, I actually feel better. Bonus.

The track list is in the comments, for those interested.

bmarkey 4/16/2003 10:06:00 PM